Are You Settling for Mediocrity?

by Griddy

Post image for Are You Settling for Mediocrity?

 

Please help me welcome Ingrid Abboud, better known as Griddy. I’m so happy she agreed to be our Guest Author today. You’ve seen her around Life,for instance. Griddy blogs regularly at NittyGriddy.com; a cool place to visit!

When I stand before God at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left,
and could say, “I used everything you gave me.”
Erma Louise Bombeck

I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell wasn’t born to be mediocre! I wasn’t born to be average either.

Average might be normal – I get that. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s not for me and it shouldn’t be for you!

When you daydream, do you see yourself as an average Joe or Jane or as being grander than life? I’m presuming the latter – as unrealistic as it may sound.

I realize that as humans, we can’t be excellent every day; it’s impossible and we shouldn’t be expected to be. There are days when we’re even less than average; it’s simply unavoidable, like a force of nature. Heck, I’ve been less than average more times than I care to count. We also know that trying to please everyone is a journey that’s doomed from the start. Any blogger can tell you that much and anyone breathing will confirm.

We often get so wrapped up in trying to make someone else (or even everyone) happy that we forget about ourselves. The fact is – you can’t always go out of your way for the people that come and go in your life. You can try, but there’ll come a point when you realize that YOU matter just as much if not more – and that it’s time for you to take a step back and be selfish. Sometimes, you just need to think about yourself first.

Life is full of choices and it’s what we make of them that define us. We may not always choose the circumstances, but it’s we alone that determine the quality. And in doing so, we can choose NOT to settle.

How many of you have settled for a deal that’s not quite right? Or for a job that doesn’t allow you to grow or maximize your potential as a person and a professional?

How many of you have settled for a relationship that brings you more pain and sorrow than it does joy? Or for friends that put you down instead of reinforce you?

I know I’ve settled for one or more of these things before.

Somewhere along the way we settle because we think it’s the only choice we have. Believe  me, it’s not! Being mediocre may seem like a safe place at first, where things can’t get any worse. But what it also means is that they won’t get any better.

The only way to become mediocre is one step at a time – through the choices we make each day. And when you settle for it once, it will be a lot easier to do it again. Eventually, you’ll have accepted a mediocre life.

Can you honestly say that you’d be content living a life as such? I didn’t think so and neither can I.

When you know deep down that something isn’t right, don’t allow yourself to believe that it is or that it’s all you deserve. The kind of life you want is in your hands and it’s only until you realize your worth that you can stomp the shit out of mediocrity and make way for the life you duly deserve.

photo credit: Griddy

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Lisa Gerber 906 pts

Hi Lori! Nice to meet you over here at your place!!! :) and hi Griddy,
I never worry about settling for mediocrity. That's not a problem for me but being ok with where we are? That's my problem. At what point do we stop trying to get somewhere and enjoy where we are? I guess, to answer my own question, the key is to remind ourselves to enjoy it along the way. :)

Lori 1857 pts

Lisa Gerber Hi Lisa! "At what point do we stop trying to get somewhere and enjoy where we are?" LOL, when you figure it out, let me know! My grandfather used to say "humans are never satisfied" and I used to see it as a negative judgement but now I'm not so sure. Not being satisfied means we reach for more, exceed our present levels, raise the bar. I think I know what you mean, though. When do we rest, when do we pat ourselves on the back and say, Well Done! Maybe we should do that every day, as you said,"remind ourselves to enjoy it along the way." Agreed. So we do have an answer! Now! LOL

Welcome to Life, for instance Lisa!

Griddy 359 pts

Lisa Gerber Hey Lisa,

How have you been?

That's a great question - and to tell you honestly I"m not quite sure. I've been satisfied with where I am in the past - but today - I know that I want more. It doesn't mean I'm not happy or that I don't realize what I already have - it only means that I know there's more for me, that I can do more, be more! But yes, You're right - in that sometimes we need to stop and smell the roses along the way and appreciate what we have and what we've done so far if we're somewhat on the right track.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this ma dear. Always happy to listen to what you have to say.

Wishing you a great week ahead.

All the best

HowieSPM 2314 pts

A lot of people settle. A lot like to settle. It is why they get solid union jobs (or what used to be solid) or become firepeople or police, join the military, go into the family business. Or they get comfortable and don't want to move or explore. Ask many NYers if they like to travel they will say yes...to Florida. But I think people should never settle when it comes to enjoying their life and growing.

Just today I found I am banned from Mashable. Almost a top 10 day in my life. So never settle.

Lori 1857 pts

HowieSPM Hello Howie! I've seen you all over the Blogosphere - I'm glad you followed Griddy over here!You're saying it's EASIER to settle than to excel, right? I think we could attribute that to the nature of the brain which cleaves to the familiar. We literally, physically, have to push ourselves to do something new, strange as it sounds. This is how I understand it anyway.

"Banned from Mashable"? What happened?

And Welcome to Life, for instance Howie!

Katjaib 23 pts

Love the Erma Bombeck quote. Love it. Great piece, Ingrid. I don't think anyone sets out to live a mediocre life. I think we often set such lofty goals that we get overwhelmed. Last year, the idea for Tiny Changes came to me... and it's how I often work with my clients... breaking things into small -- or you might prefer "ittybitty" -- things they can do right away. You're reminding me I must do more with my Tiny Changes FB page... maybe you'd like to help?

Lori 1857 pts

Katjaib Hi Kat,

I wanted to welcome you to Life, for instance! Nice point about mediocrity - "we often set such lofty goals that we get overwhelmed." We scare ourselves away from the things we really want. I can relate to that! You start out, you take a few steps but just as you're getting close to taking that leap of faith, something stops you. Is this what Tiny Changes is about? (I have to explore your FB page) Sooner or later there is a time on the journey when you have to take that leap, I think. How do you encourage your clients to do that Kat?

blogaks 76 pts

Hi Griddy,

I have never been happy with mediocrity .

Its a problem when being mediocre becomes a way of life or is accepted as a required characterstic ( especially in the corporate world). When a company starts to focus on revenues that does not come from extending out of the comfort zone, it promotes mediocrity . Same for the schools that push kids to be know all of all subjects without focusing on their inherent strengths.

In my opinion , every one can do better than what they are doing today . They can set examples for their peers as well in that way.Mediocrity has got nothing to do with ability. It is about having a negative attitude towards the things that we do . It is about not extending ourselves from our comfort zones.

Let us all kill mediocrity :)

Best regards,

Ashvini

EricaAllison 1184 pts

Oh my goodness...300 comments!!! I don't think I've ever seen a post with that many before! :) Rock on, Griddy!

Griddy 359 pts

EricaAllison LOL! Pretty cool indeed! I'm so pleased with all the incredible comments/stories that have been shared and so grateful to everyone who took the time to drop by.

Lori 1857 pts

EricaAllison Hi Erica, Yes, Griddy will be a hard act to follow! She blew our comments record right out of the water! Hope you're having a good weekend!

Griddy 359 pts

LoriEricaAllison

Would it be bad if I said that I'm smiling right now ;)? lol

Needless to say how humbled I am. Thank you all.

Hajra 319 pts

Hey Ingrid,

There are some things here I can identify with and I am not saying I am proud of it. Sometimes I did make my choices and I am happy that I didn't compromise on them. Life is too short to live it the way others expect it of you. Live it your way and then it will be extraordinary!

I can't say I am living life to contentment but then I try my best!

Loved it Griddy! :)

Griddy 359 pts

Hajra Hey Hajra,

Lovely to see you here my dear :).

We've all compromised at one time or another - and we've all settled for something or someone we know isn't right - but I'm hoping that this little piece of mine here will serve as a reminder not to the next time - if we can afford to that is.

I think it's safe to say that almost everyone (or at least me) wants more out of their life and in my case - I know I deserve it. Fear and laziness have often gotten in my way - as they are now in certain things - but sometimes it's that little extra push or kick in the butt that we need to make us stand up and say enough. Enough - I deserve better, I can do more, I can have the life I want if I work hard to build it, I can be who I dreamed of being if I push myself not to accept the mediocre and to go the extra mile.

I have a long ways to go - and though I'm trying, I know I can do more to be the person that I want to be.

Life is too short to live it any other way but to its fullest!

I hope the choices you make now and the future are the ones that will make you happy.

I wish you the best of all luck in all that you do.

Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by and share your thoughts. Much appreciated.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Cheers

Hajra 319 pts

Griddy Ah yes! The constant struggle to find contentment. I ain't too happy with life right now but I try to keep moving on, try to make changes that make it a little better, maybe momentarily but yes, makes me happy anyway!

Thanks so much! Hope you have a lovely day!

Griddy 359 pts

Hajra One step at at time I guess :).

All the best yo you and a happy Sunday.

Lori 1857 pts

Hajra Hi Hajra! I just saw you over at Stu's blog! It's nice to see you here too!

Life has a long learning curve, doesn't it? It seems to last the whole life long. We do our best, I try, and hope eventually I'll have most of it figured out, but there's always so much more to learn!

I agree - we have to live up to our own expectations - it's too hard and painful to live up to others expectations of us, particularly if they don't know our deepest passions and our true feelings.

One of my greatest wishes for my children was that they would find their passions and live them. What could make them happier?

Welcome to Life, for instance Hajra! I hope you come back and get into more discussions with us!

Hajra 319 pts

Lori Hey Lori,

So Stu's blog is making me famous ;)

We do have to live up to what we imagine but expecting harshly out of oneself is something I see very commonly! But then, that's another issue all together!

It was lovely being here! I am sure I will be back! :)

Lori 1857 pts

Hajra Yes, Stu's making you famous! I hadn't seen you around before that! I was on his blog too but YOU were there with the Big Guns! Impressive! I think I put your blog into my Reader - let me go check! Have a nice Sunday Hajra!

Lori 1857 pts

Hajra OK - I checked but couldn't get there via the shortcut! Would you like to put some of your links in your Livefyre profile Hajra? That way whenever you comment here or on another blog which used Livefyre anyone will be able to click on your avatar and see what else you're doing here in the Blogosphere! Just go to here: http://livefyre.com/profile/113389/ log in and add your info!

Griddy 359 pts

Lori Hajra Always nice to see good people meeting and connecting :).

Hajra 319 pts

Lori Ah yes! I am new to Livefyre, more of a disqus gal! Checked in livefyre to comment on Brankica's blog. Will update my profile just now! Thanks so much!

MoremooCom 7 pts

Hi Griddy, great article here.

Good people very often forget to be greedy. But sometimes this is the only way how to move on in the life and become happy again. On the other hand the world is full of greedy people who do not care about others they do not care if they hurt someone or what will be the consequences of their behavior. These people are the poison of our world...but I guess I got too far from the main point stated in the article right now:))

All I wanted to say is that you got only one life so try to live it in the best possible way, you can not please everyone, sometimes you just have to take what is yours.

Griddy 359 pts

MoremooCom Hey Adam,

How have you been? Haven't seen you around a while - hope all is well on your end.

You're so right in what you said there. While it's okay to be selfish about ourselves when we feel we need to be at times - we have to make sure that this trait doesn't envelop us so much that it defines us as a person and how we act generally with others. There's a fine line and we should know the limit.

Our everyday actions with people is one thing but when we do everything for others and those same others don't do much for us - then it's time to take a step back and think ourselves. Our health and state of mind can be affected if we don't. i would hope that most people know when it's okay to be selfish and when it's not.

We do have one life and what we do with it determines our happiness and that of those who are close to us as well.

It's also a matter of perspective at times and being to acknowledge what we have, what we want, what we need and what we don't - all while being considerate when it's necessary to be. I hope that makes sense. I know what I mean to say but I just hope I said what I mean lol ;).

Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts on this Adam. Nice to see you again.

All the best

Cheers

MoremooCom 7 pts

I got your point no worries:)) Everything is fine again on my side. Hope to be able to get on the track shortly:) The articles like this give me the energy and motivation to keep going. Griddy MoremooCom

Griddy 359 pts

MoremooCom Great to hear back from you and happy to know you're well. I hope we'll be seeing you around more often :).

Thanks so much for your kind words. It's always makes me smile when I know that my words have touched someone or have inspired them in some way or other.

Cheers to ya

Lori 1857 pts

MoremooCom Hi Adam, Sorry to be so late in welcoming your to Life, for instance! It's nice to see you here.

I love what you say about only having one life. We really don't think about it enough. I'm writing my first book with the inspiration for my second already in mind and with a target date for publishing I find I'm rushing it a little. Last night I slowed myself up a little and considered this thought: what if this is the ONLY book you'll write - the only chance you'll get?!? It sure changed my focus.

I agree with you that you can't always wait for others to give you what you want in life - you've got to go after what you want and be true to yourself. You seem to be way too aware to hurt others along the way.

It's nice to meet you Adam!

wonderoftech 53 pts

Griddy, great post! I get so frustrated when I seeing people settle for less than the best. So many people accept the status quo instead of trying for the best, and then they rationalize their choices.

Your post could be the start of a commencement speech. It's especially important for young people choosing careers, spouses, etc. to understand the consequences of settling.

Thanks for your inspirational post!

Lori 1857 pts

wonderoftech Hi Carolyn! I like how you add the rationalizing element. Once we've settled, or even in order to settle, we need to rationalize the decision, even the little steps along the way. It's as if there is something inside us which KNOWS we're compromising, isn't it?

Yes, this could be a commencement speech for sure! Even better, though, is he discussion that followed as joebertino and Griddy talked about below. Dicing and chopping the issue and examining it from different perspectives open the topic even more. Your comment makes me wish and wonder - are younger people reading? I'd love to know! How cool would that be!

Have a nice weekend Carolyn! Glad you came by!

Griddy 359 pts

wonderoftech Hey Carolyn,

Wow - what a wonderful compliment - that this little post of mine could have been part of a commencement speech :). Thank you! I wish someone would have reminded me of these things when I was back on college and on my way to joining the real world!

You brought up an excellent point about how important it is for young people to realize these things - and you're so right. When we're 19 and 20 and so forth - we often don't think ahead that far nor understand the consequences of our decisions as well. Back then - I use to live for the moment and whatever happens, happens. And although I'd like to say that I try (or wish) to do the same now - I'm much more conscious of the decisions I make and what they could mean for me in the future.

Thanks a lot for your great addition to this post. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Wishing you a super weekend and I look forward to reading more of your valuable words.

Cheers

indecisions 6 pts

got the link for this from valentinejackie & decided to share it on my blog (http://justanotherindecision.posterous.com/are-you-settling-for-mediocrity) - hope you don't mind :)

Griddy 359 pts

indecisions valentinejackie Glad you enjoyed it.

Cheers

Lori 1857 pts

indecisions valentinejackie Hi Anna Marie! I"m glad your cousin sent the link to you and that you enjoyed it! Griddy really does a Guest Post well!

Welcome to Life, for instance!

ginidietrich 5298 pts

I am SHOCKED at the length of this! Hang on. I'll be back. I have to figure out the word count. OMG! 524 words. ARE YOU OK?!? Did someone kidnap Griddy??

Personally, I try to be mediocre. I mean, really. That way you can exceed expectations every time.

Lori 1857 pts

ginidietrich That's good Gini! My GP Guidelines said 450 but I gave her an extension to 550. She was under by 26 words!

LOL - you TRY to be mediocre! I've heard of under-promising and over-delivering. So that's how it applies personally! For sure I'd prefer to surprise rather than disappoint. Now you've got me thinking..

Griddy 359 pts

Lori ginidietrich And believe it or not - I didn't even have to beg for the extension haha :). Lori was kind enough to accord me the extra 100 words on her own and I still managed to make it less :) WoooHoooo! lol

Griddy 359 pts

ginidietrich LMAO! I knew you'd be baffled ;)! I actually mentioned that in my post over at my blog - that some of you would be gasping and not to worry that I"m fine and all.

Yup - 524 little words!

Ummm...do you not remember the length of my earlier posts? You know - the one's with so many wise words of wisdom haha ;).

That's an interesting philosophy - maybe I should try it your way. So many less disappointments.

KimDavies 98 pts

Late to the part again, Griddy. But, then again it is when you're late that you could enjoy the thoughts of the people before you and whew! The thoughts I've waded through are many! And all of them valuable in their own ways. :)

When I was still in college, I helped several people, who were studying for their masters degree, work on their thesis project (I did research for them). One of them gave me very sound advice. She told me to stay away from mediocrity always because it is in working for the extraordinary that I can achieve great things. Her advice helped me achieve my dream of becoming a journalist even if I was not able to graduate college. It was what prompted me to write a novel about an incest victim. It has brought me to being the person I am today. I may not be extraordinary in everything I do, but I make it a point never to settle for anything mediocre. I make it a point to give an extraordinary smile and to make every moment count extraordinarily. :)

Thanks for pointing the way to this article, Griddy (I came over from your blog) and for introducing me to Lori. I'm sure I will enjoy getting to know her and will value her thoughts, too.

Here's to pushing forward through an extraordinary journey in blogging and in life! :)

Lori 1857 pts

KimDavies Hi Kim! You're never too late to Griddy's parties - they seem to go on and on! But yeah, reading all these comments would take hours! Worth it, but hours!

I'm impressed. You became a journalist without graduating from college. And you wrote a book!? I'm guessing there's a lot more of your story that you left out.

Giving extraordinary smiles seems like a good place to start. Smile when greeting the day. They say your whole body notices when you smile and that can only be a good thing for your health.

Welcome to Life, for instance Kim! I hope you hang around.I look forward to hearing more of your story.

Griddy 359 pts

Lori KimDavies Definitely worth the hours it would take Lori :). There's just so much gold and value in these comments - it's incredible!

And yes - smiling and laughter are always the best remedy for anything! And it's great for not only your health but for your morale and complexion as well lol ;).

Conversation from Twitter

lorigosselin
lorigosselin

ninunina Thanks for the RT Leila! It's nice to meet you!

itweetlive
itweetlive

lorigosselin DentalSuccess Discuss_Cinema danielsk72 ErnieFowlke cctheatreco you can thank ppl EZ W/ http://itweetlive.com

ninunina
ninunina

lorigosselin thanks lori nice to meet you, love your blog!

lorigosselin
lorigosselin

ninunina Thanks Leila! Having a nice weekend?

lorigosselin
lorigosselin

tim_kocher Hi Tim,
Thanks for the RT! come by and weigh in when you have time! That conversation is still going on!

lorigosselin
lorigosselin

ginidietrich Thanks Gini for the RT! Busy week with Griddy in the house!

ginidietrich
ginidietrich

lorigosselin I can't believe she only wrote 500 words!

lorigosselin
lorigosselin

ginidietrich I'm mean. I had to come up with Guidelines after other GPs! I didn't want to scare the LFI-ers used to short posts away!

ginidietrich
ginidietrich

lorigosselin Oh we have a 500 word limit and she still wrote 1,500

lorigosselin
lorigosselin

ginidietrich I must be meaner than you! The wording on my GP Guidelines is pretty fierce! LOL



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