Are You Following the Crowd?

Hajra Hi Hajra! Thanks for such a clear example of peer pressure.I wonder if any teenagers are reading this post! It's a fragile age, isn't it.

So you're a renegade in your family! Are you enjoying psychology? You're a psychologist? My daughter is studying that now. I find it fascinating!

Yikes, I hope a million people aren't expecting a lesson from ME :o I guess your goals will determine the way you write. Of course we want readers, otherwise we'd not be "publishing" a blog. We'd have a journal on our computer or in a book. I agree that you should write what you feel like if that suits your goals and your audience. The energy exchange and affirmation of comments and interaction is what makes doing this blog fun for me.

My main goal is to have a place where we can gather to talk about life. That means I try not to write too much about blogging, except as it pertains to life. Little guidelines like that are what I'm talking about. Not everyone who visits LFI is a blogger and I don't want those people to feel out of place. I try to imagine myself arriving here - how would I feel? I want people to feel welcome above all. Does that makes sense? Do you have some guidelines like that for your blog Hajra?

Lori So true! Yes, I am so enjoying psychology; though it can get a little tough at times!

I just aim at humor; something people can relate to; something they can laugh about and yet nod along; saying...ya...this is so true, this is so me; my blog isn't exclusively for bloggers; its about laughing at life!

Hajra I LIKE that Hajra! " laughing at life" ! I'm going right over to see what you're up to today! Have a good one!

Sibyl Hey Sibyl,

Yes, I'm all for staying the course. Have you ever found yourself, perhaps in your earlier days, being influenced by peers to the point you were not staying true to your course?

bhas Hi Bhaskar. Good point - positive peer pressure (I'm sure we have another word for it!) can be valuable.I think the main thing is to be inspired by them but not influenced in such a way that you abandon your uniqueness as you emulate.

Welcome to Life, for instance Bhaskar! Have a nice Sunday!

30vanquish Hi Matt, Welcome to Life, for instance! I'm with you - be you and let others be other "you"s! It's true, if you follow the anti-crowd you're still following.

It's nice to see you here!

Lori

Faryna OK Stan, but you didn't answer the question. Are you following the crowd LOL! When did you become the leader in mind and heart that you are? How did you leave peer pressures behind?

Lori I just can't keep up with the crowd. It moves way too fast for the likes of me. Sometimes, I hope it will double back and pick me up as it roars by. Such is the lot of a fool and idiot. [grin]

skooloflife I never thought of that Srin. They reverse the logic and want us to be like everyone else LOL. My parents were never like that though. If they had been, my path may have been very different!

It is easier to do what everyone else is doing which is what makes leaders so impressive. When we depart from the crowd we've got to beat our own path, not always so secure. You got off the beaten trail Srin! Has that been challenging for you?

jonathanfigaro I was surprised when I showed bcromlish the article and he said every mom said that. I thought it was just MY mom who said it! It is an effective way to relay the message.

You're a leader Jonathan? I'm not surprised! "Follow your heart and allow it to take over your life." Sounds good to me!

KimDavies I like what you say Kim, " as soon as we realize that we don't enjoy being placed in a pressure cooker anymore, we back off and go our own way," Maybe becoming aware of peer pressure and even being susceptible to it is just a part of the process, as I mentioned to EricaAllison below.

I've gone through a lot of phases in the short 8 months since I started blogging. I know what you mean by "relishing your youthfulness as a blogger". At each stage, as the bar gets raised, I find myself reevaluating again. It makes the process interesting which keeps me interested. Imagine if you hit a plateau in blogging - where it got to be BORING - yikes!! So no complaints here!

I try to remind myself that if i give it all I've got and try not to be too distracted by what others are doing while at the same time learning from what others are doing and taking what fits with my mission statement and applying it.... ~ whew ~ ...I'll be fine. Does that make sense Kim?

Faryna Thanks Stan,just watched the trailer and I GET the hint! "When you follow the noble path anything is possible." How can animated movies be profound!? Now I've got to go see it! (Does anyone have a child they want me to take to a movie :o )

EricaAllison Hi Erica,

You do recognize the growing pains in the blogging arena. You're very good at articulating this. It's natural to go with a flow you see when you come to a new area. How else would you learn what you want and don't want to do? Maybe being susceptible to peer pressure is just something that naturally happens along the way? I don't know. It was a more complex topic than I realized when I published it :o

I think the main thing is that it's a stop-over and not a destination. We go though it, some of us, for certain lengths of time, and it helps to galvanize who we really are and what we really want. Does that make sense?

Wim @ Sales Sells Aw Wim! People like you MAKE it like home here - a community.

Thanks for admitting to blogosphere peer pressure awareness. I get that - it seems I never get to all the blogs I want to and that's with a small list of blogs which is growing - yikes! @ginidietrich once told me she gets up very early to do all she does - I'm not surprised. I'm in awe of those with young famililes, a business AND a blog like @ericamallison and @TheJackB and @JKtheHustler and so many more. It's true we need to step back from time to time (I write at 9:08 pm lol). I try to set a timer during the day and allow myself different blocks of time to go visit! Otherwise I'd get lost in there and never leave!

You're blogging a number of days per week, Wim. Three, four? That alone can be overwhelming (how do YOU do THAT!?) I started at 3/ week and went down to 2. It made a huge difference for me. But our blogs have different........different everythings! You're doing a great job - I pop in as often as I can to see what I can learn about selling and I learn something every time! We all need to cut ourselves some slack, at least You do and I do too!

TheJackB Livefyre community = positive peer pressure!

TheJackB It was peer pressure that got you to install Livefyre? Aw Jack - that was positive peer pressure then? LOL . Are you happy with your decision to use Livefyre?

It sounds like you're the sort of person who would laugh at peer pressure. What do you think makes a person able to do that? A decision, a certain nature, a stubbornness? I like the quote - a severe warning to do things your own way!

Lori I was being facetious about my moving over. I liked what I saw here and at other blogs so I thought that I would see for myself how it worked.

As for laughing at peer pressure, well that is fairly accurate.

It is a combination of things. I grew up in an upper middle class home but went to schools where the students came from very affluent homes. We weren't poor but we never had the kind of money a lot of them had.

I couldn't do a lot of the things that they did even if I wanted to so I was forced to learn to ignore a lot of that stuff. Add my ornery nature and it made it easier to ignore things.

But that doesn't mean that I haven't felt it or done things because of it. It just doesn't happen often.

joebertino Thanks for hopping in, Joe! I'm trying to figure out how one can differentiate between positive peer pressure and negative peer pressure, despite the desired ultimate outcome. I think you're right; trust is a big factor that changes the foundation peer pressure works on.

annedreshfield joebertino Sorry to butt in, but Joe hit the nail on the head and you reaffirmed it: trust is a big factor that changes the foundation peer pressure works on.

bdorman264 annedreshfield joebertino Sure, wait until I go to supper to start this! LOL

annedreshfield joebertino Trust equals permission, then, right? Not that peer pressure is always overt, its more often subtle and sometimes unconscious - i.e. we do it to ourselves. But when there is trust and awareness, we can consider it a learning experience with a "teacher" we've chosen.

Do you think so? Or do you think the end justifies the means?

Lori joebertino I think that's usually true. Peer pressure has some serious danger of hurting another person when not based on trust, so you have to be very careful with how you approach the end goal. For me, this means backing off when my friend expresses her discomfort, and agreeing to approach the topic sometime else when she feels up to it.

joebertino annedreshfield This is so well-stated Joe! A tipping point. I agree, that it's the trust-based encounters which are best. In that case, they're barely peer pressure at all but mentoring instead. That involves choice, agreement and acceptance though you don't feel you have to agree or comply, which again, means it's not peer pressure. It's a much more pleasant thing!

Do you have any personal experience with such a positive tipping-point encounter Joe? You seem to speak from experience.

Lori annedreshfield bdorman264 Yeah, I definitely view these trust-based encounters as an opportunity to learn, but only after the fact. In a moment of need I usually rely on the guidance of others as instruments to measure my current situation. Sought out or not I think this advice still qualifies as peer pressure, but yes, much more concentrated and helpful.

One such positive tipping point was a phone interview I had with the director of my current MFA program. This was over two years ago when I quit my job in New York without a plan. I just needed out. I explained to him that I needed a creative environment to learn and grow and that I was interested in taking classes online. He empathized with my situation and explained that San Francisco is the perfect city to get my hands dirty, try things and fail. That was all I needed to hear. A month later I moved out west and enrolled in the MFA program full-time in search of my "tribe" (as Seth Godin and Ken Robinson would say).

joebertino annedreshfield bdorman264 Wow Joe - you just picked up and moved? I know one person's guidance it seems you can trust - yours! I'm glad you found Livefyre! I'm guessing your as big an asset to them as you are to LFI.

Lori annedreshfield bdorman264 Ha, I'm glad I did too!

bdorman264 Aw Bill, we could have a good swim if we BOTH jump off!

You've been doing your own thing from the start Bill. You could write a book on building a readership before you even had a blog. Thanks for admitting that it's not always easy to follow what others are doing when you think they may know something you don't. (You admitted that, didn't you :o) A true community [ which LFI aspires to be] is a group of all leaders. I think it's important, that we all BE leaders! It's our uniqueness and our honesty which make us relevant to one another.

All's well here. Got to run and get supper and groceries tonight - tomorrow everything is closed for Canada Day - yay! a holiday!

Lori I did..........'cause I'm smart like that..................:)

bdorman264 I'm not so smart - Friday is my usual grocery day! I'm off now - hold down the fort Bill!