I’m Proud of You

I love the feeling when I meet my best friend because she always has some wonderful things to say about me and that makes me feel proud of myself. In a way I must say I am a little harsh on my self and don't acknowledge my acheivements and don't take pride (just a lil alos) in the fact that I might have done something nice. I need someone else too tell me that. Too harsh a self critic?

Hi Lori!

I would say I'm "proud" of my work ... that's the extent of it. I'm totally with Jk and "humbly proud" and TheJackB. Pride is an interesting thing to me. I think I feel more a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in certain things and then move on. I've never been one for needing approval overall or reflecting too much on my accomplishments - much more so probably on the negative unfortunately (ah, but I'm learning big time though!! :)). You're "I bet you too, often forget ..." is powerful and you're so spot on with me here. I need to permit myself sit back and reflect on things a bit ... a good reminder and I'm grateful. Sometimes I run so fast that I miss it all and that's an issue I know I deal with constantly ... stopping to smell the glorious roses!! ;)

Thank you friend for always making me think!!

Much kindness,

Elena

I definitely feel good when someone tells me they are proud of me/achievements , maybe I should learn to extend this feeling to when I say it myself? :)Martinsays: Thanks Lori, great post. Im proud of you!

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I think that often times, to those of us that are self-motivated, despite any degree of success we may encounter, we assume that we could've done better. Our perception of our capacity for greatness is rarely matched with our accomplishments; therefore, we put our chins to our chest and march on without acknowledging the accolades that we deserve. External validation certainly helps to make us aware of what we can do/have done, but external praise will never fill the void left gaping from the absence of internal recognition of our gifts/accomplishments.

This is a struggle for me as I'm sure it is for others. I'm trying, with each passing day, to remind myself that I am a successful (in many ways) person. I'm not a braggart by any stretch of the imagination but neither am I someone scared to take ownership of my accomplishments. I place tremendous value on the concept that to which we focus our attention, that will expand. If we focus on accomplishments, we beget more of the same; however, if we focus on not accomplishing things, we will continue to fall short despite our best efforts.

Thanks for the great post, Lori!!

Are you still proud of me?..............:)

FYI, I will be out of the office all day tomorrow so don't panic if you don't see me early.

Lori,

Great question. In my own personal life I don't take enough time to pat myself on the back for all the things I have accomplished. There just always seems to be something else I need to do next that steals my focus. To me it seems like life is just completing one task after another in the endless pursuit of stuff. I think it is extremely important to reflect on the things you have done and not get so caught up in a future that is not here yet. (At least this is what I am trying to teach myself.) I am going to take your advice and pat myself on the back a whole lot more.

I just hope people don't think I'm crazy while I do it. They might just think I have a rash or something. :-)

Hey Lori,Sounds like you grew up in Scandinavia. Here you aren't supposed to pat your own back and you should always be humble when getting a complement, best is if you say something negative about yourself to balance it out.

Luckily the younger generation is changing the norm.

Great question Lori. I must say that I am humbly proud of myself. For me to say any different would be a lie and a discount to the life that I've been blessed with.

Getting external validation is great. I appreciate that and It does feel good. But to be honest, if I don't feel it within, external validation does nothing for me.

You ALWAYS have great things to think about. Thanks Lori!

Great question, Lori! I like external validation, but don't need it in those areas I feel most confident about. I do some public speaking and feel comfortable doing it. I rarely need, but enjoy positive feedback. I know when I perform well and when it falls flat. But other areas, like blogging, where I'm still getting my sea legs, where I'm still a novice, I do find myself looking for validation (in the comments or analytics) as a sign that I'm moving the right (or wrong) direction. I'm proud of my writing, but find myself looking for that external acceptance more than in other more self-assured areas of my life.

What I'm most proud of, though, are my children. While nowhere near perfect, I think I've been a pretty darn good parent. I'm proud of what I've done to lay a foundation of love and acceptance for my kids.

I have pride in myself and my work. I try not to run around tooting my own horn but at the same time we have to work as advocates for ourselves.

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Hi, Lori, very interesting and intriguing thoughts! Like you I grew up with the belief that being proud of yourself is a no go, maybe not that much in the context of a deadly sin, but paired with the ethical concepts of modesty duty. I wonder how you can become a self-assured and confident person with such a background!

I am glad I am keeping a diary, this is where I pat myself on my back, reflecting on those 5 points you mention above.

I like the concept of an inward and outward pride, two separate things (close to what Jane Austen said about pride and vanity): my inward pride is based on knowing where I have come from, valuing my accomplishments and achievements, accepting my shortcomings and respecting and loving people. The outward pride is how people perceive me and my actions, a very subjective and momentary interaction. Mind you, I cherish this warm feeling when somebody close to me says "I am proud of you".

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This is such an issue for me! I have dubbed myself the Queen of External Validation! Much like Lisa Simpson, I have found myself all but shouting, "Grade me! Validate me!"

Strangely enough, though. The times I've felt proudest of myself, it was for things that either other people didn't see at all OR that others didn't approve of, but because my hard work had paid off, I was beaming with pride.

Hi Lori

Pride

I think pride is a comparison between two things . I am proud because of something. The problem is that once you make something a source of pride it then can become a source of shame in the future for you or for others. Pride for a lot of people is a comparison between themselves and others. For example the world says that having a university degree is better then not having one. You should be proud that you have one. So if your proud that you have a university degree does that make you better then someone who does not have one and if this is not your source of pride in your degree then what is? How many people went to university to make their parents proud of them. I think that what you are trying to get at is love for yourself . Love does not sit on top of a comparison it is stand alone love is unconditional or it is not love . I love god because he first loved me and the love that I have for myself is gods love for me. In other words you join with god in loving yourself but he has to show you how first.

Very interesting topic! If I stop and think about it, I am proud of myself, but sometimes it takes someone else saying "Im proud of you!" to make me stop and think about it. (So, thanks for the title!!)

I suppose I am lucky, because I didn't get any messages as a child that it was wrong to be proud. I think there was a clear distinction about the difference between bragging and being proud inside. I also smile when I remember that it was always "okay to brag to Mom" :) cause she would be excited to hear about anything we were proud of.

Hi Lori Pride is a very slippery subject. We are of the generation where, like you said, our parents expressed pride in us or in our endeavors but, we definitely got the message that it was not good to be too self-prideful....and this created a conundrum for many of us. Like you, kind of tied in to my desire to keep others always happy, in doing that, I am also looking for the affirmation that I don't feel comfortable giving to myself. The next generation, our children, I think were raised slightly differently. I can't tell you how many times in my children's little lives I told them not only how proud I was of them, but that they, too should be proud of themselves...an expression that I don't remember hearing as a child myself. As a result, my children are far more confident and aware of their accomplishments and take compliments appropriately well. They are not braggarts by any stretch of the imagination...just self aware. So, I am wondering if in the pride discussion here, there will be generational differences in how pride feels?

Thanks lorigosselin ...and BTW...I am VERY proud of you ;-)

Claudia

This comment might be a bit off, and I don't mean to not focus on the topic as you presented it. I just have a different take on pride.

I see pride as a disconnect from God; a way of saying that we do everything and are everything with no help from Him. However, when we know who we are and that all good things come from Him (ie. inspiration, revelation, energy, knowledge, etc.) and we apply our minds, hearts and time to achieving good, it's wrong NOT to be happy and express joy and gratitude for acquiring or achieving.

When someone says my children are beautiful I never say thank you. I had nothing to do with their beauty (you know what I mean). I always say, "Yes! They are. Aren't they?". That's not pride. That's joy, gratitude and a bunch of other emotions thrown in.

It's so nice to be around someone who loves what they've done. You can sense their joy. If, however, I have jealousy in my heart I think I might hear bragging that really doesn't exist on their part.

My mother criticized my artwork ( the pic of "Kathy" on my blog that I put up the other day.) and I almost deleted it. It took me 2 days to realize that she looks for perfection. That's HER issue. But I was making it mine. So, yes, I had to pat myself on my back for having the courage to do something uncomfortable that wasn't perfect AND to find joy in the talent that I'd been given and how hard I've worked (and continue to work) to develop.

I have to stay on my toes and not succumb to other people's insecurities that they project onto me. Does that make any sense Lori? LOL!

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A person may be proud without being vain; that's me. Yes, I am proud of what I have accomplished because I figured it out on my own. I had to pay my own way through school, get my own job, find my wife, etc. Somehow, someway it all worked out and considering where my frame of mind was in high school I have come an extremely long way.

I notice in social some people get discouraged if they are not acknowledged by the 'right' people. And I can't say at one time, I kept a tally too. All I can say is I am glad I am way past that AND I am satisfied with what I have been able to accomplish. It's good enough for me, then it should be good enough, right?

Did you miss me last week?..........:)