Often self-development courses include an assignment of writing your own obituary as a way of seeing what you want to be and do in life. I thought it might be fun to boil all that down to a few words; words that could fit on a headstone. That’s right, we’re going to write our own epitaphs, if we dare. Think about it: we don’t want to leave this to chance, like the “unfortunate” Louise.
I’d want my epitaph to represent my love of family, home, writing, community-building; the adventure of life itself. I’d choose these words for my epitaph:
“She loved life”
What will your epitaph say?
photo credit: Natalie Maynor
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I enjoyed your article Lori. I am reading - Zen and the Art of Making a living. Of course the famous question did arise. Here is what I wrote - its a work in progress but I am getting pretty close. My purpose of advocacy is slowly opening the door in my life and saying ' hello'
"Love yourself. Love and always advocate for others. Find what truly inspires you and makes you want to cry and never let go of that passion."
Hi Bruno! This book sounds interesting! Advocacy is saying "hello" - I like that! And I like the passion that makes you want to cry! How do you express this advocacy?
And welcome to Life, for instance Bruno!
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Lori, I finally made it over to read this post! :) I saw Melody's post on death and had to come back over and read your great comments.
Hmmm...not sure what I want my headstone to say. Honestly, I don't care so much since it will probably be decided by someone else.
I'll leave my epitaph for someone else to write. But I think I would like my last words to be, "Yes! Finally. I can't wait!"
I wrote about this very thing just recently. My daughter came up with the perfect one for me. "She was never bored!"
@galenpearl I love that Galen! I actually got the idea for this post while commenting on that post! We should put the link here: http://10stepstofindingyourhappyplace.blogspot.ca/2012/03/she-was-never-bored.html
One of my favorite quote is: "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WOW-- What a Ride!"
So, with that in mind, I want my headstone to read: "Holy Crap! What an awesome ride!"
I also love @TheJackB's idea of an electronic headstone. Then, I could show photos of oceans and flowers and stuff, and suddenly pop up on the screen yelling "Boogaboogabooga!". Because life isn't supposed to be serious and neither is death. We can't avoid it, why not have some fun with it? :o)
Hugs!
Melody
@DeliberateBlog that is an awesome way to say live life to the fullest...i was trying to think of something along those lines as an alternate to my Epitaph and that saying hit the nail right on the head..very clever and so true...thanks
May i borrow it.?
@DeliberateBlog @TheJackB I love that epitaph! Imagine walking through a cemetery @JimK and reading that on a headstone!
You can Jack plan to entertain long after you're gone haha! Imagine THAT cemetery - filled with life-like stories of peoples lives. We could be working on that story now! Oh wait! That's what we're doing. :o
my stone will have to say, "i really loved and cared for those of you that were in my life, despite not saying it as much as i should have"...
@jaybeans821 Hi Jay! That's sweet and sad....
Lori,
I'm not going to be buried or have a headstone cause that whole idea freaks me out! I'll take that whole "ashes to ashes" thing more literally and not take up space...just scatter me in the ocean.
But if I did have one, I'd like it to say, "She finally got it right - if you need her, you can find her in the ether."
@Julie | A Clear Sign LOL, you got it right or you will have gotten it right? If I am here until I get it right, I'll be here for a very long time.
@Lori There's a story in that story, wouldn't you know lol! But I am HOPING to get it right before I shuffle off this mortal coil. At least the one thing I came here for this time around. Sigh...there are probably at least a million more lessons to be learned and things to be done, but I'd like to nail just this one, this time :)
Hi Lori,
He was a kind and generous soul and actually laughed every once in a while. It took him a while to figure out this thing called life, but when he did, he sure did it right … He lives on in our memories, but now he helps my plants grow in the back yard. ;) Sorry, I had to say it.
@Craig McBreen Hi Craig! "...this think called life..." :-) Isn't that the way! That's a powerful intention you set with these words. Did you find it liberating to choose your words for your epitaph? I find myself remembering my words and they give me clarity and direction, a little like a compass! How did it feel for you?
Hi Lori,
It is not length of life, but depth of life.
He jumped into life and never touched bottom.
@JimK Hi Jim! Still diving into it! I love it!Assuming you have never gone down this path before, do you think having set this "intention" will have an impact on how you see yourself and how you see your life? Can it affect how you feel about it? Your thoughts?
@Lori To me Lori, it means committing my heart and soul into life and enjoying it to the fullest. I hope I can achieve that. I'm not sure if I will have a committal of ashes to the ground, scattered at sea or at land. I have sailed most of the oceans and that has definitely crossed my mind. If I chose scattering at land I would like that at CFS Alert near the north pole. I find it to be a beautiful and fascinating place and I am at peace there, even in the harshest of winter storms.
One of my strange little habits is visiting cemeteries even if I have no loved ones there. I can spend an afternoon in one place. There is so much history I can find about the the community. I have seen the last resting place for Samuel Adams and Benjamin Franklin and I have I have also been to the Titanic burial sites in Halifax. I could go on and on, but I think I have taken a big enough detour off topic.
@Lori I love that show.
@JimK That's cool Jim. I think it's like any goal you set - when you declare it you're more bound to meet it.
You visit cemeteries? Not something I've done unless you count Tombstone Arizona! I find them to be sad places. I guess it depends on your mindset at the time.
Your love of the north is nice to see. Have you caught that new series on TV, "Arctic Air"? I've really enjoyed it and I bet you would too.
Hey Lori,
New here. See you a lot over at Kaarina's, Bill's and Craig's blogs. Love this site. Interesting stuff. I see you've been at it a while.
My epitaph....... "Hey, who was that guy?"
;-)
@rdopping Hi Ralph! Thanks for coming over and weighing in. "Who was that guy?" Fun epitaph!
Welcome to Life, for instance!
Glad to be here at Life, for instance and very excited that I came by. Looking forward to some fun banter. Ciao, for now.
"He loved and lived fully." :)
@Deeone Higgs That's a good one Deeone! It's a tall order - living up to it!
My epitaph is about 10,000 posts long and growing...
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@TheJackB Can you pick just a few words Jack? I don't think 10,000 will fit on a headstone! LOL
@Lori Electronic headstones are amazing things.
Latest blog post: Dad's Field of Dreams Doesn't Recognize Failure
@Lori Nope, not kidding.
Latest blog post: Dad's Field of Dreams Doesn't Recognize Failure
@TheJackB What?! You're joking, right? And if you're not, what's next? Slide shows on the headstone?
"NOW you bring me flowers?!" or "See you soon!"
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@BetsyKCross
Too funny Betsy!
@BetsyKCross Haha! I love the first one LOL and the second one reminds me of a joke. Here it is - found it online:
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.
So people seeing your "See you soon" epitaph might back away quickly!
:-)
@Lori Oh my!! You made me laugh so hard!! That was so good. Thanks for finding that for me. You're the best. Thanks for being such a good friend!!
Latest blog post: Thanks For Your Patience!
I would love the following to be true: Melanie Thompson "She brought joy and smiles into the world and left them here."
@MelanieAThomp Oh, I really like this one, especially the "and left them there" part! Pretty cool Girl, and I did mean to say "pretty"! ;-)
@Lori Thank you! Oh I love the "pretty' reference! =)
"Passionate to the end; she gave life her all."
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@Sandi Amorim :-) Nice Sandi! Let's live 'em well and hope nobody needs to carve them on any headstone for a long long time!
That Dorman, he was such a nice guy.....
If I checked out today I can honestly say I feel I have lived a rich, purposeful life. I've tried to do the 'right thing' and have volunteered for some causes that I think I made some kind of impact. There might be some who would say 'good riddance' but probably not.
"That's all, folks!" Mel Blanc (the epithaph is the trademark line of cartoon character Porky Pig, whose voice was provided by Blanc for many years)
@bdorman264 OR...
That Dorman, he had such great hair.
;-)
Latest blog post: 23 Things I Love About Being a Coach
@Sandi Amorim Or, 'he loved himself' but that would be a little narcissistic, right?
@bdorman264 @Sandi Amorim Not on this porch! Loving oneself is smiled upon! :-) See!
@Sandi Amorim @bdorman264 LOL
@bdorman264 LOL, okay Bill. I thought you were going to say something about parties, don't know why :o
@Lori Maybe along the lines of 'when the last person leaves, please turn out the lights'.................
@bdorman264 Yes, our final words should be about conserving electricity! ;-)
@Lori Here's what I hoped mine will say "She loved. She lived. She gave. She will be remembered with a smile. She'll always be missed". Recently, Ken Wert wrote a post where one of the things he mentioned was the kind of statue that would represent us. I did a quick survey with those of my friends who were online and was overwhelmed by their response. I mean, one minute we were teasing each other and laughing at crazy jokes and the next, we just zoomed into a totally sentimental mood - I felt the giant group hug, I swear! I feel so fortunate.
@Vidya Sury That's a comprehensive one to live up to Vidya! I like how you add the other perspective to it.
So what kind of statue would represent you? Say more about that?
@Lori :-D You know, I've got this on a sticky note on my desktop now. (you're right about living up to it :D - and I love the motivation, with a little help from my friends!)
“When I am gone” My friends say that there’d be a statue of me:
a. Laughing, holding out my arms as if to hug
b. Laughing, with my arms full of stuff to give away
b. Smiling, serving food to a large group of needy people (hey I like that!
d. Happy, playing with a group of children in a park
As I told Ken, I was pleased to death :D Now you know why I have it on my desktop!
@Vidya Sury That sounds like a very happy statue! :-) Nice friends you have Vidya!