Jack is in the house today! Jack is the first of four generous blogger-friends who offered to host at LFI while I step away from the blogosphere and unplug for an at-home vacation. Jack is a proliferous blogger over here and here! Take it away Jack!
Someone told me that life is supposed to be easy and that the answers to all of our questions are right there before us.
Once he finished going “Woo Woo” I punched them him in the throat, kicked him in the derriere and then threw him out the window and watched as the lake swallowed him up.
I turned around and smiled. There is nothing that makes me smile more than when I get to defenestrate someone.
If we only could have stopped there it would have made the perfect story, but perfection doesn’t exist and I am forced to tell you that as soon as I turned back around I saw the man standing there.
That is because I was staring at my own reflection. The angry face that glared back at me was my own.
Angry because I wanted simple answers to questions that couldn’t be answered because sometimes you can’t really know what will happen until you experience a particular activity or event.
It is probably fair to say that some of it was frustration too. Frustration that I couldn’t figure out some of the answers based on past experiences.
And that, my friends, is how I found myself on the road not taken. Or maybe it is more accurate to say that I recognized that the path I had chosen had veered from the well-traveled and well-lit one that I had initially begun my walk upon.
You can classify me as a man who was once convinced that life is made up of a series of events that are unrelated. Coincidences and desire sometimes led us to believe there was something more but that was it.
Except life has a funny way of presenting you with experiences that force you to reconsider and rethink your position.
I don’t know how to describe what happened to me other than to say that life happened to me. People and events took place and forced me to open my eyes and look at the world a little bit differently.
And now I am on the road not taken. I am walking down a path that is far different than I had imagined or envisioned for myself. I won’t lie and say that it doesn’t ever make me nervous because sometimes it does, but more often than not I am excited.
Are you living the life you expected to live or is it different than you had imagined it would be? Are you following your dreams or has fear of the road not taken prevented you from going after them?
photo credit: geodesic
Article by 
Wow, Jack...I'm just getting to this one, but I know it's the perfect timing for me! :) I can't tell you how much I relate to your experience (well, I guess I really am...)
I, too, am one who wants to break down life's complexities into nifty little bite-sized portions that all make sense. I am addicted to the "figure it out" pill.
Like you, the most powerful revelation that I've experienced about life came once I just kinda surrendered a bit of the control freakishness within me and accepted that the path of least resistance is often the path I least expect.
Thanks for making me think!
@Steve_Rice
Hi Steve,
I am glad you enjoyed it. It takes work to just let go and enjoy. It is funny, I have been crazy busy the last 18 hours or so. But I always get excited when I see new comments because you never know what you are going to learn.
There really is joy in the journey.
Latest blog post: The Password is Swordfish
Very nice post Jack, and it's a very interesting and meaningful question. Had I lived the life I expected (and in most ways I have) I may have found life becoming predictable, stagnant, monotonous- comfortable in the womb of false security - meaninglessly meaningful and bearable. Had I lived a life I didn't expect (and in ONE way I have), I may have found that my life is actually totally predictable, stagnant, monotonous - devoid of meaning and utterly insecure - psychologically unbearable. Maybe there's a third way. Some road that is neither expected nor unexpected. Some road that is neither bearable nor unbearable. Some path that is pathless, because all paths are opinions. Only the pathless is free.
My question is this: If the road I dreamt of taking is different than the road I'm on now, is this really a different path? Is it really a different road? Different than my dreams maybe - but different in any other significant way? Different than the way any other path of any other human being develops and progresses?
@rshin
Is there are a third way? Sure, why not. Some of the happiest people I know are those who just take whatever comes their way. They don't spend much energy trying to predict or control, they just live.
Latest blog post: The Password is Swordfish
@TheJackB
Well I wish I knew people like that. I wish I could be like that hahaha ;-)
@TheJackB nice! Late here but here. Great piece. You are a great storyteller, dude. I only have two words; no regrets.
Unlike the dude you threw out the window I have no idea what is right in front of me. Could be anything. Nothing easy about it but it is fun to find out, isn't it?
Latest blog post: Is FOCUS the most important word? Ever.
@rdopping
Hi Ralph,
I like your attitude. There is something exciting about the unknown as well as frightening, bit it is all in our perspective. No regrets is something that is worth striving to maintain because life is too short.
Latest blog post: The Password is Swordfish
@rdopping @TheJackB Ha! I couldn't agree with both of you more. This post made me LAUGH...partly because it's so true.
The NO REGRETS mantra is one that I most definitely subscribe to though, and I agree with the excitement of the universe's surprises.Here's the thing about expectations - they're much more fun when released. That doesn't mean that I don't set goals, but I do so ALLOWING for the universe to surprise me with a life that's even better than I ever could have planned :).
@Sabrina at MyMiBoSo @rdopping
I like that. Release our expectations and enjoy the ride because you never know what it will bring. Can't help but smile as I write this.
Latest blog post: The Password is Swordfish
@TheJackB The smile that can't be helped is absolutely one of the best :)
The only aspect of life that matters most is how your living and experiencing it THIS VERY MOMENT.
I saw this TED-X video of Scott Stratten today for the first time and I've become a lifetime fan from this day forward after seeing it.
I would only share something here that I believe would be a value to the community; hope you don't mind sharing it here Lori...
It's a worthy message to plant in your soul for sure... Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=3Cakm2nIQWo
I don't know know about you Jack, but I've always just kept going... And I keep going - nobody can keep up with me!
What am I doing!
@Mark_Harai being a big deal is not a big deal. So, so true! Awesome video.
Latest blog post: Is FOCUS the most important word? Ever.
@rdopping Ralph! Happy Wednesday to you sir : )
That video moved me... I could relate sooo much to it; it really got me thinking :o
@Mark_Harai
Awesome, thank you.
@Mark_Harai That was quite a video, so much to process but I agree with the message. This moment is all we know we have now. I am in complete agreement with what he said, wow.
Latest blog post: An Easy Way To Say I Appreciate You
Great post, Jack! Thanks for the laugh -- that opening image was great. To answer your question, I think I am living the life that I imagined for myself, but that's because I consider my high school self's perception of my future to be...immature? Inaccurate? Uninformed? As I arrived at college and traveled through it, I grew up. I think I'm doing pretty well for myself right now, so I'm content. But, the future is looming, and I know I may not be content in as little as 6 months or one year when I finish up with college and move into the "real world." I'm assuming that my expectations will be too high when I'm coming out of school...but I think that's normal and also a healthy learning experience. Like Barbara said, I'll take each day as it comes!
Latest blog post: Test
@annedreshfield Hi Anne,
I am glad you enjoyed it. If you can take each day as it comes and enjoy it you will be a step ahead of many people. College is a great time but don't let people fool you into thinking it is the "best time" because this real world stuff is pretty good.
I am biased in that, but I kind of like having had the opportunity to take what I learned and build upon it.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
@TheJackB I found that I got to college, took a look at all of the people getting black-out, throw-up-all-night-long drunk (including my roommate), and thought "THIS is supposed to be the best time of my life?!" Not really my thing. I'm pretty excited for what comes after; it seems like that's when life really begins!
Latest blog post: Test
@annedreshfield Some of those college moments are good to have experienced once or twice because you can cross them off of your list.
But life really does begin afterwards, that is when things get really interesting.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
Jack, what a lovely surprise to see you here at Lori's! I wondered who would host in her stead, and like Vidya I did not dare to ask. I am delighted!
No, I am certainly not living the life I expected to live but I have no regrets. My expectations were formed on the miraculous formula of all fairy tales and how much can we take of this?
I enjoy my life at its fullest right now and will take each day as it comes.
Latest blog post: 12 Things I Want To Do
@Late_Bloomers Hello Barbara,
No regrets is a major gift and something that is always worth striving for. It means that we have taken risks and lived a little bit. Those fairy tales are fun, but only when we take them for what they are.
Expectations, life is about expectation and figuring how to live our dreams while managing realistic expectations is a worthy endeavor.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
Ha! So not the life I envisioned and expected way back in my 20's! In all the ways that count though, so much better. That doesn't mean I've got it all handled or have periods like the past month where I question every damn thing. Just means I can acknowledge what this road not taken has opened up. And that has made all the difference!
Latest blog post: Come to the Dark Side: permission to own where you suck
@Sandi Amorim It is kind of fun to look at our twenties and see what we thought life would look like and compare it to now, at least for those of us not in our twenties.
All that life experience in between then and now plays a big part in how we view the world. If we never questioned things or had rough moments wouldn't life get dull?
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
The Wonderful Jack! You're among my favorite writers! When Lori said she was taking a break, and that there would be awesome writers here in her absence, I wanted to ask her who - but refrained, preferring to be surprised. What can I say, I am delighted!
Fifteen years ago, I would have never imagined I would be doing what I am doing today. Life happened, priorities changed, pieces fell out of place in life's giant jigsaw puzzle, fell back right in, sometimes in better shape, to fit better - and yes, I am happy with my life now. Takes a lot of - perception. I never imagined I would be writing for a living. I'd say it is a huge jump from a hotshot corporate manager to the work at home lifestyle. I love it.
Love seeing you here, Jack
@Vidya Sury Thank you Vidya, that is very kind. I am grateful for the opportunity to guest post here again.
It is funny how you can go back 15 years and see a different world and a different life. My children have no idea how different it used to be.
I wonder what life will look like for us in 15 years. What will we be doing and who will we be doing it with.
And as I have shared with others I love reading comments like yours about how much you enjoy what you are doing. It is a real pleasure.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
That's a great question Jack. I never had any real clarity as to what I wanted to be when I grew up. I guess I learned to really value my freedom and just wander around aimlessly following my curiosity. I'm a minimalist so it doesn't take much to fund my life style - just enough money for travel, books and coffee.
Riley
@Rileyhar Hi Riley,
That sounds like a very pleasant way to live to me. The opportunity to travel, read and drink good coffee while following your curiosity is something a lot of people would love.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
From a spiritual perspective I am living my dream but my spiritual life was not planned either,in fact I did not even know that it was possible to live life by faith instead of so call reason and the five senses. I say so called because the human brain makes so many assumptions in order to make a decision with the imperfect knowledge that it does posses, you could not call it knowledge but good guessing yet somehow we like to believe that we are rational and reasonable and so most people are oblivious to the fact that life is a mystery and that what is going to happen next and what will be the consequent of are actions is beyond our knowledge. For me true and perfect knowledge is a matter of the heart in that if we have the right heart then we are on the path to more of the right heart condition and the heart is the true foundation to our world view our state of being and is the only thing that matters that we have control of.
@johncharlesowens Many people like to think they make decisions upon rational thought and logical decisions but when you pick it apart so much is just arbitrary choice or an emotional response.
You really don't know from day to day what can happen or how some event can influence you in ways you never dreamed of.
If you believe you are on the right path and are comfortable you have a gift worth holding onto.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
I am not being facetious when I say I am living the dream. Based on where I came from, what talents I thought I had or didn't have, I have far exceeded where I thought I'd be at this point in my life.
I just have to make sure I fully appreciate it and quit bitching and moaning about the little things. From a financial, taking care of my family perspective, that is truly the one thing I can control.
There were a few times I thought of taking different paths, but ultimately I think I am exactly where I was meant to be.
Life can be very fickle and so much is out of our control. I try to have the attitude 'it is what it is' and don't dwell on the things I have no control over. I also try to look for humor in everyday life because if gives me a good attitude to handle everything else.
Good to see you sir; enjoyed your other post.
@bdorman264 Glad you enjoyed the post. If you can find the humor and joy in the moment and appreciate what you have now you are ahead of the game. We live in a time where society pushes us to have more whether we need it or not, there is much to be said for being comfortable with what you have got.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
@bdorman264 I'm with you Bill: Living the Dream likewise, and know that I'm exactly where I should be:)
Wow Jack...such a thought provoking post this beautiful Monday morning. I am currently sitting in a B&B in Wyoming, looking out the window at the famous first National Monument, Devils Tower, while I sip my tea and prepare my pack to rock cliimb up the side of this crazy 'mountain' this morning with my husband. Nope - definitely not the life I had expected to be leading. Nor the one I started out leading, but as you - LIFE happened...circumstances made me open my eyes to a failed first marriage while had been sowed with a imminent desire for a husband and children... Beautiful children, whom I adore by the way. LIFE & a new career path, led me to find the man of my dreams, a person who supports me (even in my craziness) and loves me unconditionally...and who has shown me a way to enjoy the outdoors. Ways that I would have only read about and perhaps dreamed about in my previous life.I used to regret not meeting my husband sooner...making our marriage my one and only as I'd always intended...because naturally with exs & a blended family comes baggage, but then I realized, that maybe I wasn't ready or wouldn't have been ready for him back then. Perhaps I needed my first husband to help me grow into the woman I'd become when I met my current husband...Maybe that fork in the road was one I just wouldn't have had the foresight to take 17 years ago.... who knows...but I can't live my life in regrets, wishing for a past I don't have (seems silly anyway, to wish for a different past? It's done, it's over...move forward and make an amazing future.I'm happy for the road I'm travelling on - - even when it gets rough, It helps me grow and shows me the person I am, can be...and want to be.! x
@StaceyMJHughes Good morning Stacey,
There is a lot in your story that grabs my attention. I am "guilty" of being a heavy thinker and I often wonder about the connections between what we do and who we do it with as it relates to where we end up.
I agree with you about the importance of not living in regret about what we didn't do and wonder if those choices made life today better. In many ways it doesn't matter because we are where we are and who we are today because of that and we can't change the past.
But if we aren't settled, certain, secure or happy about today we can change the future.
It certainly sounds like your path brought you more than you had hoped for and that is something that is simply awesome. That rock climb you are about to take sounds awesome too, must be amazing to do and experience.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
I never expected to be blessed with so much opportunity, and so many wonderful experiences. I always imagined I'd be a physical education teacher in school, but wound up being an Olympic coach. From there, I saw opportunity in places that didn't yet exist i.e. business coaching, which didn't even have a name/title back then. I now live my dreams every day, carve my own path and, Emerson said: "Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." To making paths:) Cheers! Kaarina
@KDillabough Kaarina you know that Emerson is one of my favorite writers and I love that quote. I find it fascinating to see how many of us expect to end up one place and yet find ourselves somewhere quite different.
Eighteen years ago I was preparing for life in Jerusalem and here I am in Los Angeles.
You are definitely an ambassador of joy and it is always a pleasure. It is good to be around people who are living their dreams.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
@TheJackB I like that: ambassador of joy. Thanks:)
That would be no for me too, but that doesn't mean that it's not a fulfilling life, it's just not what I'd pictured and I so agree that I feel life also just happened to me and amazing coincidences did bring me to where I am today.
I fully expected 'the American Dream' to get married, have 2.5 kids and the picket fence. Well, I'm divorced, no kids and had to build the picket fence myself ;). I take fully responsibility for the good and bad and I feel I am living a much fuller life, have much more character and fully intend to take fully control of my future. I don't know if I've really had control of my destiny. I've been in safety compliance helping save lives (though received a death threat because of it...another long story), This is no longer who I am, thought I have had amazing experiences.I am again transitioning to becoming a small business owner which expresses my true passions. I've done what I needed to do to be able to now do what I want to do. I'm feeling that time is now limited and I don't want to waste the rest of my life. I am not nervous about the future, I am open to whatever happens.I hear that change is evolution, so I'm ready to evolve. I'm ready for an exciting future, taking the road less travelled and intend to move to more deliberate, authentic living but am open to curves/detours in the road.
Thanks Jack, love the topic.
Brenda.
@giftbasketvillascom Hi Brenda,
I connect with people who talk about living a fulfilling life. I love that and I appreciate how you describe having it even though your life is different than you had thought it would be.
Expectations play such a big part in our lives and when you can live with realistic expectations life gets fuller or so I think, The ability to not get so wrapped in having things go exactly as we hoped or planned is important.
I also appreciate how you said you did what you had to and are now doing what you want to. That is a gift.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
On a college admission essay I said that I wanted to be a marine biologist, even though I was in love with ballet. LOL! But I was also drawn to art and languages. I fell into family history. It's my "warm spot in the room." It's what I do without trying. You know? I mean, I work at it, but I don't try to love it. I just do. The older I get the more my dreams and my life reflect who I am at my core....and I expect to be led to a deeper, richer version every day!
newest post : http://weforgotyounot.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/dr-mccleans-worm-specific/
@CrossBetsy Hi Betsy, when you love something you just do because it is part of you. If you have to try, then something is off or at least that is how I see it.
There is something quite rewarding about being able to go to that deeper, richer place you are talking about.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
Ha! That would be No. I fully expected to be an insurance agent until I retired. I expected to always have a nice house, a desk job to go to every day, a 401k and a big, fat retirement account borne of years of making small deposits every two weeks. Everyone who knows me only through A Clear Sign would never imagine that's how I lived my life for decades before this. Nor that I never had a spiritual thought in my head until a couple of years ago. Sometimes the road changes abruptly when we think we are on our way somewhere else. Actually the road I am currently on is not "the road" either, it is just like the turnstile onto somewhere else I haven't quite figured out yet.
@Julie | A Clear Sign
Hi Julie,
It sounds like you took quite a turn there which begs the question of "are you happy with this particular path?"
At the same time I think it is kind of nice to know that life has a few twists and turns. I suppose you could say it is rationalizing these changes, but I like variety.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle
@TheJackB It is certainly a more interesting route, one I probably should have explored much earlier, but who knew? We listen to what our parents tell us about getting an education and good jobs and assume that is what we are meant to do (or, some of us do). Now if you put me back in a cubicle I doubt I could make it through the day - but I could be wrong. The reality is So Far I miss the money very much but not the life itself. I imagine it will work itself out (hopefully sooner than later).
@Julie | A Clear Sign I haven't worked in a cubicle in six years and I sometimes wonder if I could ever go back. Money helps, but it is not the driving force in happiness, this I know for certain.
Latest blog post: Ask Your Father- It Is Just Like Riding A Bicycle