Melanie is back for her monthly weekend post! As always, Melanie poses an intriguing question, inviting us to think more deeply about a subject! Take it away Melanie!
There are a few things in life that I think are grossly overused; the standing ovation, the use of the word “that” and the declaration someone is a hero.
A hero is, “A person, who is admired for courage or noble qualities.” On top of that I would argue it is someone who would be braver or nobler in a given situation than a typical person. I don’t think a person who chooses a profession that requires bravery on a daily basis such as a police officer or firefighter is necessarily a hero. For example I consider the young boy who runs into a burning house to save his sibling a hero, but the firefighter who does the same is doing his job. (Am I alone in this?)
When I think of heroes in books or movies it is almost always someone who does something that no one else dared to do- something I wish I could have the courage to do but know I likely would not have. They overcome great obstacles to do great things. I think the title “hero” should be such a difficult one to acquire.
Maybe on some level we all want to be a hero or do something heroic. Could this be why superheroes intrigue us so much and are incredibly popular Halloween costumes?
Do you know any real-life heroes? Do you want to be a hero? What do you think makes someone a hero?
photo credit: Brian Dewey
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never too late right? :)I have been WAY behind on LFI, and I miss it. Lori was kind enough to take the time out of her own busy life to LET ME KNOW that I was missed, and it meant more than words can say...so here I am - and playing catch up as there've been some amazing topics!
I agree with Melanie, a hero goes BEYOND their job, the society expectation that they do. Doesn't that make sense? I mean really - that firefighter HAD BETTER go rescue that person, that is their job, and yes their job has risk, but they choose that job & there fore choose the risk (IMO)
@StaceyMJHughes Hi Stacey! Nice to see you here! Melanie will be by but I wanted to let you know the first Dear LFI post is out today! Go see and share your thoughts there (no pressure ;-)
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There's another side of this that no one has yet addressed. Maybe we want to talk about it too.
Let's say that this hero comes to rescue you in true heroic bravery and get's him/herself killed in the process. You survive. That kind of thing can get very complicated. What about the grieving family of the "would-be" hero? I don't know how I'd feel if someone gave his life to save me ... especially if I would have survived anyway.
We know that the police often warn us not to "be the hero" in dangerous situations. So, is the cautious person who stays out of harm's way to be lauded or condemned? I know this isn't where you were going with this but I can't help but ponder the tenuousness of the term hero ... if the hero ends up doing more harm than good, what is he then?
You posed some very loaded questions Melanie. And they foster many more. That's what makes a great topic. Thank you!
@Carmelo Interesting... I would say someone who risks their life to save you when you could have done it on your own isn't very heroic. It seems to me that when police say that they are talking about a situation where, for example, a bank is being robbed and no one is getting hurt. They would say "don't be the hero" as in "Don't try to take the guy down, just stay safe and we can deal with him later."
I guess I just think that if a "hero" is doing more harm then good then he would never get the title hero in the first place. What do you think?
Wow Melanie, you've got a great conversation going here! Who knew there could be so many perspectives on being a hero?
I think, as @Carmelo said, we gain our aspirations to be a hero in childhood, likely due to stories read to us. Who doesn't want to be superman or superwoman and have all that power and fame?
I love the idea of the unsung hero - like an anonymous act of kindness, or a spontaneous, Robin Hood type act, perhaps without awareness that this act will be viewed as heroic. Maybe the word is overused because we don't have a word for this and yet we feel it must be recognized.
Maybe "hero" has come to substitute for "wonderful human being" . The one who witnesses to us of fearlessness, courage, stamina, moral conscience, honesty - is a hero. They change us, they make us better people.
I understand up north there are many many words for "snow" and we have only one word for wonderful human being.
@Lori Thank you! I'm glad it has really sparked discussion and so many perspectives! You mention at the start some "super"heroes, but I would argue that they are different. They have "super"powers that help them to be heroic.
Robin Hood, on the other hand, is a "normal" person and I would agree is heroic. Just to be my difficult self... ;) I think there are actually lots of words that can describe a wonderful human being. Courageous, brave, fearless, loving, honest, loyal...my big question is: "What is it about us that often takes a brave act and uses it to label someone a hero?" Should there be a difference between bravery and heroism? Or maybe all brave, courageous etc people are also heroes.
It seems many people in this discussion feel we should be labeling MORE people heroes rather than less (like I think lol)
What do you think?
@MelanieAThomp Those are great words "Courageous, brave, fearless, loving, honest, loyal..." but they are adjectives. What I meant was there should be another noun to capture other qualities on the scale from mildly courageous person to risk-your-life altruistic soul. Seems the word "hero" had to cover a lot of ground.
It isn't that we need to label fewer people as heros and fewer acts as heroic. We do that because there is no other word that comes close to describing them.
There's a new show on TV this fall called Arrow. It's like a modern-day Robin Hood (which was what made me think of the tale). The question is; is he a hero or just a vigilante? There's another noun ;-)
Labeling some acts as heroic is something we do from our own perspective. We typically only note public heros, the unambiguous ones but what about the person who moves on in life despite excruciating physical pain because he/she has to be there for others who count on him/her? Isn't that heroic, yet rarely do we label it as such.
The definition (one definition) of hero of "A person, typically a man, who is admired for courage or noble qualities." This definition can cover a lot and that's why we have the long spectrum which opens it for debate and interpretation.
When we coin other phrases (maybe they are out there?) or come up with other nouns which do the job we will be more accurate in our speech.
@MelanieAThomp It would depend on the situation. The more I think about this topic, the more I believe the word "hero" is less of a label and more of an accolade. The deeming of someone or something as heroic is very subjective. My definition of brave may be different from someone else's definition of brave. It's hard to pin down (not that we're not giving it a very good go here ;-)
@Lori I see what you mean! That makes sense for sure. I think the fact that, as you said, the definition is so broad means that there is plenty up for debate. I wonder then, if we ignore the word "hero" but focus on "heroic" what might fall under this adjective? What would make us say something is 'brave' instead of 'heroic' or vice versa. Then we are comparing apples to apples a bit more. Is there anything that would make you choose one over the other?
We all want to be heroes. I feel if someone can make or bring one moment of joy, one moment of total happiness or a moment of better change or influence someone's life in a good way, then you have a hero right there!
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@Hajra Thank you Hajra! It looks like you are in the boat of just about everyone being a hero. How do you think a hero might differ from a kind, loving or caring person? Or would you say they are one in the same?
@MelanieAThomp @Carmelo For me, one doesn't need to be super to be a hero. The heroism lies in the eye of the receiver ! :)
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@Hajra There certainly are times when we want to step in and help. Maybe it's not always thought of as "hero." Sometimes that term goes hand in hand with recognition and not everyone wants that, of course. I might say we all want to help, give, serve, make a difference in some way even if it's "just between you and me."
Semantics I guess. A hero to one could be simply a caring human being to another. I can't help but bring to mind how often I hear people say: "I'm not a hero, I just did what I was compelled to do or what anyone would have done."
But, then, do they bask in the glow of the notoriety later? I don't know. Maybe some do.
Do I want to be a hero? As a child, yes, we really all probably envisioned ourselves saving the world, saving our beloved, and being hailed as a great person. (I can fly!) Then, so many of "us" grow up and maintain the idea of "saving or fixing the world" so in another way we often hold on to our childish notions.
I wouldn't think there's anything wrong with wanting to fix wrongs, or serve the needy but often we just tend to dream about these lofty goals by witnessing other's "heroic" actions and wish instead of do. I believe this happens because our hero worship is misguided in that we haven't found OUR OWN foundational purpose first. It's oh so easy to enjoy vicariously by imagining ourselves to be those heroes, don't you think?
Your discussion about who is or isn't a hero is interesting too. The random, untrained person who rushes in to save someone could surely be called a hero in one sense but in another, could we say it was just the human thing to do?
and the firefighter or policeman: as you say, it's their job so why would we call them a hero? But, on the other hand, didn't they choose these jobs because of their heroic and brave natures? Could we say they're heroes because of their jobs?
Interesting stuff! Maybe just being active as human beings is heroic in itself! :-)
@Carmelo Thanks so much for sharing your perspective! Do you think that by having heroes we look up to we are less likely to be heroic?- Dreaming only of being a hero but never trying? I would argue that in having a hero to admire we are more likely to try to be heroic. You bring up a great point about how perhaps heroic people choose heroic professions. In that are though, do you think some people are more inclined to do great, brave and heroic deeds?
Very interesting topic Melanie. The topic of "hero's" is intruiging to me because from childhood we seem inclined towards the notion that someone ELSE is going to come and save us from the external circumstances we are helplessly thrust into. When one feels helpless, whether a child or an adult, one tends to look outwardly for a savior, externally. This notion, (rather it is a desire steeped in the idea of hope amidst a feeling of hopelessness or helplessness), is not as benign as it may seem - in fact this idea is like a thief in the night, robbing us of our potential to find the LIGHT within our selves. When we look outside ourselves for a way 'out' then we are subject to waiting around for that 'hero' or 'savior' who, realistically, can't truly exist outside of the self.
External circumstances are not at the heart of any real issue. In fact, according to a study presented in the short film "Happy" external circumstances only account for 10% of an individual's tendency to be "happy". It claims that 40% of one's "happiness" is under one's own control, that is, determined by one's own approach to life. Is a person's approach to life ever an external matter? The idea of herioism robs us of our potential inner search for answers - for circumstances are ever changing from "good" to "bad" to "good" as natural laws dictate. It is one's approach to life alone which can "save" that person from misery, from hopelessness, from the feeling of helplessness. Accepting one's helplessness is the first step.
Another issue with the idea of heroism I find is that it encourages mimicking behavior. We want to be just like the hero's we worship and this robs us of our potential to find the truth for ourselves. Instead, we are taught or tend to emulate those we see as "heroes" and even if the hero in question does outwardly "good" deeds, our emulation of those 'good' deeds is less a matter of doing the right thing for the sake of doing right, and more to do with one's own fulfillment of the desire to "be somebody" - which in and of itself is rooted in a deep psychological insecurity that we all feel in different degrees due to the mind's tendency to compare the self and the self's circustances with everyone and every thing else.
Overall, despite the national or global obsession with heroism I find it to be a dangerous concept which, among many other concepts, robs us of our potential to LOOK for ourselves, to SEE for ourselves, and to SAVE OURSELVES by realizing that no thing outside of us is within our control - we accept this inwardly and when we accept our helplessness we are helpless no more. The search and wish for a hero to come and save the day is not truly a pursuit of "Justice" nor is it solely "American". Rather, the pursuit is simply a matter of filling the emptiness and insecurity we tend to feel as human beings. It is a desire for Peace, and Happiness - a desire to be freed from the mostly psychological misery that is the human condition. Only the Truth can bring true Joy and "set you FREE". The journey for Truth is always an inner journey. Can it be otherwise?
Great topic Melanie!
@rshin I agree that society as a whole has encouraged us to place our focus on external things rather than internal growth and the evolution of consciousness. Seeking heroes and wanting to become a hero is largely an external or shallow desire that leads to potential thrills but not lasting peace and joy.
I also believe that we are physical too and a form of 'heroism" as long as we don't find our identity in it is needed in the physical realm we inhabit. It's a great discussion! And you made wonderful points rshin.
@Carmelo
Hi Carmelo, yes it is very interesting and I feel the same about the points you have made, very thoughtful and insightful. We do indeed occupy the physical realm as well as metaphysical or any other, and yes as you say there is no issue with any thing as long as one doesn't define one's self by the fleeting things in that fleeting world...but then again, one who doesn't identify himself as a hero wouldn't have any need for the concept would they? haha ;-) The real heroes usually tend to be the ones who are reluctant (from within) to be called heroes, just as those who are true leaders are often those who are reluctant to lead. So strange hahaha
@rshin Wow! such a different and interesting perspective. Am I right in understanding that you think we should call no one a hero because it robs us of our potential? What do you think about situations where we literally are helpless (such as trapped in a burning building), is it wrong to hope for a hero at those times? Don't we need heroes for times when we cannot do something for ourselves no matter how much we want to- not because we think we are helpless and hopeless incapable people, but because we know our limits? Maybe we are in agreement that we shouldn't be calling people heroes so easily, that if we idolize all the people society calls heroes we won't realize our true potential, but I wouldn't say they could be eliminated completely. Sometimes people do great, wonderful and heroic things to save others. What do you think!? Looking forward to more of your perspective! I love the discussion. :)
@MelanieAThomp
Hi Melanie. If one were in a position to help out another living being then one finds oneself in such position and either acts or doesn't act. Why is it called 'heroism' to do the right thing at the right time? Why is it heroism to walk into a burning building and save a child? Would one not help out another human being simply to help them out? Is one doing it for the reward, for the title, for the recognition? In those moments that the building is burning of course he is not, but afterwards he does begin to desire the attention, especially when he begins to THINK BACK on what he did, but thinking has nothing to do with heroism, that's why a hero has no IDEA he is a hero.
So, I ask you, is it heroism to do one's duty? I knew a man who took pride in the fact that he was caring for his 3 year old daughter after her mother was killed because he was comparing himself to all the 'dads who would never do that'. He wanted to call himself a hero for doing the only thing he truly is responsible for doing.
As far as I am concerned there is no such thing as a hero were it not for the presence of the 'other' who would look 'up' from his own position of helplessness and claim me to be 'higher', to be a 'hero'. Besides, what one person considers heroic is not what another would consider heroic. There were many many people who once believed that Hitler was a hero. It's all relative, because one's "foe" is relative to one's internal state of mind, one's internal position on external matters. As for feeding someone who is hungry, or saving someone from a burning building, or even being there for every single important event in the life of a child...what is heroic in being humane...unless of course, there is so much INhumanity that we have inadvertently exposed our savageness by singling out the ones who are doing the reasonable thing, putting them up on a pedestal, and worshipping them as though they were gods. In a world where doing something for its own sake is not considered 'reasonable' behavior, it stands to reason that those same people should desperately hope and pray for a sheep amidst the wolves.
Great conversation indeed Melanie!
@MelanieAThomp @rshin That really does make sense Melanie. We individually can't possess all the attributes that a particular situation may call for and therefore I would certainly welcome a "hero" of sorts coming to my rescue.
On the other hand, if I place my trust, personal worth, and existence on others as life heroes that I hope will usher in my "salvation" I'm missing the whole point of life! This is just as you say. :-)
I agree with Julie. It makes me feel like a hero when I'm given a hug and a kiss from my children for just showing up and being their mom! Maybe the definition of hero is different for each of us and really describes how much we feel a person contributes to our life by listening and supporting us? I don't need to be "saved" by someone in the typical way to have me feel like they are a hero to me. I need them to be a true friend.
I'm actually very uncomfortable with heroes in general. I think we all have treasures inside us that when magnified makes us all heroes to someone at some time.
That said, I love dress-ups with kids and the fun you can have imagining disasters and the super powers they can conjure up to fix them!
Thanks, Melanie! Loved the topic.
@BetsyKCross hmm after reading this you make me wonder what it is that makes us so uncomfortable reserving the name "hero" for only a select few. I think we can all be brave, caring, loving and supportive awesome people, but isn't a hero, by definition, someone that people admire? If everyone is a hero, do you think that takes away its "specialness"? :)
@MelanieAThomp @BetsyKCross Maybe I'm different! I really don't like the term hero for anyone!
@BetsyKCross I think I'm the one who's different! :) I agree with you though, I think it's hard to use the word "hero" !
Hi Melanie, I feel anyone who chooses a life-saving profession (EMT, nurse, firefighter, etc) has the need to help engrained in their DNA and when they do something particularly noble in the course of performing their job (like walking into almost certain death to save a life) then they should get the title of Hero.
By the same token, there are many small, unsung heros out there. To me, it doesn't have to be "of great proportion" to get the HERO title, it just has to be selfless or done out of love. I see what you mean, that the title might just go to those really rare moments of a huge event. Yet, something in me wants to observe and recognize all those tiny moments of people being kind, because it makes me feel better about humanity. I just saw this great video of a man who rescued a dog, after the dog had been locked in a small cage in a shelter for 6 of his 7 years, and kept away from other dogs in case he was dangerous; So when I saw the man and the dog tromping through the woods and I saw the joy of the dog's first (carefully orchestrated) meeting with another dog, I just HAD to call the man a hero. That's just how it feels to me.
@Julie | A Clear Sign
What is a "small" hero? Is there such a thing as "small" and "big" heroes? How do you determine the degree of one's heroism? Is it determined by how many people they helped or saved? Is it determined by the degree of danger they put themselves into? And who is giving out the heroism titles? I hope that we don't all strive to become heroes for the sake of the "title", but then again I can't imagine that a true hero would ever recognize themselves as a "hero" nor claim that title which others are sure to want to "honor" them with. As for the man you saw with the dog, yes seems to me like a true hero, if one wants to use that word. haha
@rshin @Julie | A Clear Sign I love what you said here about heroes not claiming the title for themselves. I think this would absolutely be true. I wonder if there can be a degree of heroism, as you say. What if it had to be black and white? You were a hero or you were not...I wonder if we would then be less likely to label so many a hero. Hmm...
@Julie | A Clear Sign Hi and thanks so much for your perspective! I know my thoughts on this one weren't going to be popular! :) It sounds like you think most people are heroes at some point in our lives. Do you think that's the case? Maybe we are all called to be a hero to somebody in the very least. Is there someone who has been a hero to you but who may not have been recognized more widely by society as a hero?
@MelanieAThomp @Julie What if the highest form of heroism is being the most conscious person we can possibly be? What if living a life of present moment awareness and being totally truthful and congruent is the biggest contribution to mankind we could make?
For the most part, we consider a hero as someone who's done some physical action or visible thing that can be measured and praised. That's great, sure, but maybe it's secondary to our just constantly living to our highest internal/conscious potential. Maybe that has far greater influence on the world than anything else we could do.
(and maybe that would even lead to more physical acts as well, who knows?)
@Carmelo @MelanieAThomp @Julie
Yes, but actually a 'hero' is one who has done or does something which 'makes the world a better place'. But one who actually DOES make the world a better place would make it such simply by doing for the sake of doing and being for the sake of being. The rest of our so called actions (and this can be extremely nuanced), is basically nothing more than an egoic endeaver (one way or another). I think this is what the "Human Condition" really refers to.
@Carmelo @MelanieAThomp @Julie
Beautifully said Carmelo.
@Carmelo @Julie Hahaha personally I like the thought of there being some real heroes out there. People who do extraordinary things that a normal person would be too scared to do. The term "hero' has no benefit to the person who dons the name, but to the rest of us I think it gives us hope.
@MelanieAThomp @Julie Right, Melanie. The moniker of "hero" would likely make no sense in this case. It's conceivable that the term hero is only important to those who would seek recognition, isn't it?
This doesn't diminish the action, of course. As to your ponder about it possibly diminishing other great things, there again, would we even care what others thought? And if we don't care what others think, maybe would have absolutely no concern of anything diminishing anything at all. :-)
What do you think? Not that I care. Ha! :-p Teasing, of course. I love the conversation and topic.
@Carmelo @Julie I wonder, @Carmelo if this would make us an exceptional person, but would "hero" be the right word to describe someone who is "the most conscious person they can be."?
I agree though, it could absolutely have such a greater influence in the world. Heroes are often only recognized for their "one great act." Maybe we wouldn't even want that title because it would diminish all the other great things in life we had done. What do you think?