I was exhausted. It was eight months after my son died and I had finally completed the painful estate details. I was getting back to work, hanging out here on the porch and feeling relatively sane.

That’s when I learned some of the code of our Terra Cotta Pendants website was becoming outdated and I needed to do something about it. I talked about that here.

But that wasn’t the end of the story. When the new site was up and running, three months later, I did a crash course on SEO and learned that what matters to Google now are two things: fresh content and social media credibility. The obvious next step was to create a blog for Terra Cotta Pendants. This took another two months and taxed my already short reserves of energy.

I wondered why things were happening so fast. It seemed I was dealing with one huge project after another. Why was life pushing me so hard?

I try to see myself as the author of the events in my life so I had to ask myself: why had I written this into my script and why now?

In retrospect I see it clearly.

We passed the mark of the first anniversary on August 17th. I crashed on the 18th. I felt adrift. What had been motivating me for the past 365 days, getting through the first year, was accomplished so now what? I didn’t recognize that something else had been motivating me in the past year; continuing the family business that Alex had helped us build.

These two web design projects carried me through the last five months of the first horrible year and they came with a message I must have wanted myself to receive. You can do it. You’re still here.  It’s not over yet.

Sometimes life has to push us or we may fall down and never get back up. Everything that had happened had occurred in perfect timing for my benefit. For the time being I feel as if I’m in calm waters catching my breath before my next project. Deep breath. Deep sigh.

Have you ever felt as if life were pushing you around? How did you deal with it? Did you eventually find value in it?

Photo credit: Lori

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