What Offends You?

What Offends You?

Let’s welcome Melody Fletcher to lead us in this relevant and fascinating discussion. Melody blogs about the Law of Attraction here.  She explains the Law of Attraction in plain language! If you haven’t been over to her place yet, treat yourself to a visit soon!

When was the last time you got offended by something that someone said or did in your presence? I honestly can’t remember the last time it happened to me. It’s not that I’ve developed a thicker skin, or that I’ve found a way to stop myself from slapping those who say things l don’t like. I’ve actually managed to turn off the offended reaction altogether. What’s my secret?

I choose not to be offended. That’s it. I know, it sounds way too simple, but let me explain:

How you react to anything is your choice. Always. In fact, it’s pretty much the only thing you can control. You can’t change other people’s behaviors or opinions, but you can change how you choose to react to them. When you choose to be offended, you are giving all of your power to that other person or the word they’ve just used. You are saying, “I am completely powerless against this word. When I hear it, I must feel bad.” Really??

There are two reasons that we become offended:

We’re offended by something when it triggers a negative belief we have about ourselves. Think about it. If someone came up to you in the street and yelled “I hate your green hair!”, you’d probably write him off as a nutter. But, how would your reaction change if that person yelled “You look fat in those pants!” Chances are you’d want to punch him. The nerve! The only difference between the first statement and the second is that the second statement triggers a fear you have – that you do, in fact, look fat in these pants. And it’s THIS thought, YOUR thought, that offends you.

The second reason we become offended by the opinions of others is because we believe that only ONE of us can be right. So, if I believe A, and you believe B, then one of us must be wrong. The false belief here is that we can’t both be right, from our own individual perspectives. But how exactly do your beliefs and the reality they’ve created for you negate or change my belief system or reality in any way? They don’t – unless I let them, of course. If I can allow you to have your opinion, and see it as valid for you, without feeling as though it threatens or even affects the validity of my opinion for me in any way, then what you think or say has no power whatsoever to offend me.

When you choose not to be offended by others, you are no longer allowing their behavior to influence how you feel. You are taking your power back. You are choosing to feel good, no matter what. Don’t you think you deserve that?

What offends you? Do you know why it offends you?  Has anyone ever been able to change your mind, causing you to no longer be offended?

photo credit: Goon Squad Sarah

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